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Basic Human Social Rights

Basic Human Social Rights & Responsibilities

  1. You have the right to have your own internal experience:

    1. You have the right to have whatever feelings, emotions, or moods arise. You have the right to feel all of your emotions.
      1. You have the right to be angry if mistreated.
      2. You have the right to be scared if you feel unsafe.
      3. You have the right to be sad, down, or moody.
      4. I have the right to be happy.
    2. You have the right to think whatever thoughts arise.
    3. You have the right to have your own opinions, beliefs, and values.
    4. You have the right to set your own priorities.
    5. You are ultimately responsible for your own internal experience.
      1. Your reactions are ultimately your responsibility.
      2. You are responsible for dealing with your own internal experience—no one else is responsible for “making” you feel better.
      3. Likewise, you are not responsible for others’ internal experiences or trying to “make” them feel better.
    6. You have the responsibility to allow others to have their own internal experience, without feeling responsible for it or for trying to change it.
  2. You have the right to express your feelings, opinions, and beliefs.

    1. You have the right to disagree with others’ opinions.
    2. I have the right to protest if mistreated.
    3. You have the right to say "I'm afraid" if you feel scared.
    4. Expressing yourself does not obligate anyone to agree. Since each person has the right to evaluate information, make up their own minds, and take responsibility for their own decisions, you need not feel guilty or responsible for others’ decision to agree or disagree with you.
    5. You have the responsibility to express your feelings, opinions, and beliefs in ways that do not violate others' rights.
    6. You have the responsibility to allow others to express their own feelings, opinions, and beliefs in ways that do not violate your rights.
  3. You have the right to make your own decisions and choose your own actions.

    1. You have the right to live your own life as you choose.
    2. You have the right to decide what is best for you.
    3. The behavior of others may have an impact upon you, but you determine how you choose to react and/or deal with each situation. Others may influence your decision, but the final choice is yours.
    4. You are responsible for the consequences of your decisions and actions.
    5. You have the responsibility to choose actions that do not violate others’ rights.
    6. You have the responsibility to allow others to make their own decisions and choose their own actions as long as they do not violate your rights.
    7. You have the responsibility to let others be solely responsible for the consequences of their own decisions and actions.
  4. You have the right to be your own judge of your decisions and actions.

    1. You have the right to act for your own benefit rather than for someone else’s benefit.
    2. You have the right to act against someone else’s wishes.
    3. You do not need to rely upon others to judge your actions. Others may state disagreement or disapproval, but you have the option to disregard their preferences or to work out a compromise. You may choose to respect their preferences and consequently modify your behavior. What is important is that it is your choice.
    4. You have the responsibility to let others be the judge of their decisions and actions.
  5. You have the right to change your mind or act inconsistently.

    1. Human life is rarely constant or rigid. Changing one’s mind or behavior is normal, healthy, and conducive to self-growth. Others may try to manipulate you by judging or asking you to defend your inconsistency.
    2. You have the responsibility to allow others to change their minds and act inconsistently.
  6. You have the right to have no reasons to justify your decisions or actions.

    1. You have the right to give no reasons or excuses to justify your decisions or actions. You have the right to resist being defensive or being “put on the defensive”.
    2. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions or to simply not know why you decided or acted as you did. As humans, we sometimes use logic and sometimes not.
    3. Others may try to manipulate you by demanding to know your reasons and trying to persuade you that you are wrong, but you are the ultimate judge.
    4. You have the responsibility to allow others to have no justification for their actions as long as they do not violate your rights.
  7. You have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

    1. You have the right to all of your human weaknesses and limitations without guilt or shame.
    2. Imperfection is part of the human condition. Others may try to manipulate you, by trying to make you believe that your errors are unforgivable, that you must make amends for your wrongdoing by engaging in proper behavior. If you allow this, your future behavior will be influenced by your past mistakes, and your decisions will be controlled by the opinions of others.
    3. You have the responsibility to accept the consequences of your mistakes.
    4. You have the responsibility to allow others their weaknesses without ridiculing or resenting them.
  8. You have the right to say “no” to requests or demands without feeling guilty.

    1. You have the right to say “yes” or “no” for any reason, without needing to explain or feel guilty.
    2. You have the responsibility to say “no” if you think the request or demand is unsafe, coerced, or is something you will resent doing.
    3. You have the responsibility to allow others the right to say “no”.
  9. You have the right to ask for what you want.

    1. You have the right to state my own wants and needs, without feeling guilty.
    2. Expressing your wants and needs is not coercing or demanding. Expressing your wants and needs does not obligate anyone to respond. Since each person has the right to say “no” and take responsibility for their own decisions, you need not feel guilty or responsible for others’ decision to give or not give you what you want.
    3. You have the responsibility to allow others the right to refuse my request even though I might not like being refused.
    4. You have the responsibility to avoid demanding or coercing others to give you what you want, these strategies attempt to take away others’ right of choice.
  10. You have the right to refuse to be responsible for others’ behaviors, actions, feelings, or problems.

    1. You are ultimately responsible for your own psychological well-being and happiness and not ultimately responsible for anyone else.
    2. You may feel concern and compassion and good will for others, but you are neither responsible for nor do you have the ability to create mental stability and happiness for others. Your actions may have caused others' problems indirectly; however, it is still their responsibility to come to terms with the problems and to learn to cope on their own. If you fail to recognize this assertive right, others may choose to manipulate your thoughts and feelings by blaming you for their problems.
    3. You have the responsibility to not blame others for own your behaviors, actions, feelings, or problems, and to allow others to refuse responsibility.
  11. You have the right to privacy.

    1. You have the right to your own personal space and personal time.
    2. You have the right to take your time to think, decide, or process your emotions.
    3. You have the right to decide when and where you will respond to requests.
    4. You have the responsibility to give others their own personal space and personal time.
  12. You have the right to be independent of other’s approval.

    1. You are ultimately responsible only to yourself, and you must deal with periodic disapproval from others. If you were to require others' approval, you would leave myself open to manipulation. It is unlikely that you require the approval and/or cooperation of others in order to survive. A relationship does not require 100% agreement. It is inevitable that others will be hurt or offended by your behavior at times.
  13. You have the right to put your safety, health, and wellness first.

    1. You have the right to be safe and healthy.
    2. You have the right to do what is necessary to protect your physical and mental health even though this sometimes requires discomforting others.
    3. You have the responsibility to take care of yourself first even if you value helping others, because the more safe and healthy you are, the better you are able to help others.
    4. You have the responsibility to do this in a way that causes the least amount of harm to both myself and others. I have the right to be safe.
  14. You have the right to learn from past experience and adjust your own decisions and actions accordingly.

    1. You have the right to use others’ past actions to inform your own decisions and actions.
    2. You have the right to prepare for others to behave as they have behaved in the past, while understanding that they could potentially behave differently.
    3. You have the responsibility to learn from past experience and deal with the consequences if you don’t.
    4. You have the responsibility to expect others to learn from your past decisions and actions and to adjust themselves accordingly.
  15. You have the right to set and communicate boundaries.

    1. You have the right to make and communicate personal conditions of behavior in the form of “If others do X, then I will do Y.”
    2. You have the right to enforce your boundaries by responding according to the conditions you set.
    3. You have the responsibility to understand that others may cross your boundaries (especially if they have not been communicated) and you will need to choose whether or not to enforce them.
    4. You have the responsibility of understanding that if you do not enforce your boundaries, then they will likely not be respected in the future.
    5. You have the responsibility to not enforce your boundaries by forcing or by threatening to violate others’ rights.
    6. You have the responsibility to allow and expect others to set and enforce their own boundaries.
  16. You have the right to not understand & to say “I don't understand.”

  17. You have the right to not know & to say “I don't know.”

  18. You have the right to not care & to say “I don't care.”

  19. You have the right to love and be loved.

    1. You have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
  20. You have the right to feel good about yourself, your actions and your life.

    1. You have the right to be successful.
    2. You have the right to love and be loved.
  21. You have the right to grow and change.

    1. You have the right to be healthier than those around you.
  22. You have the right to not have your rights violated.

    1. You have the right to dignity and respect, to be treated as an intelligent, capable and equal human being.
    2. You have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
    3. You have the responsibility to stand up for and assert your rights, which may require informing or educating others of your rights.
    4. If your rights are violated, you have the responsibility to assert your rights while continuing to respect others’ rights. Others violating your rights does not give you the right to violate their rights (except in the case of personal safety).
    5. You have the responsibility to treat others with dignity and respect, to not abuse others, and to not violate others’ rights.

 

 

Eric D. Jackson PhD, Clinical Psychologist
Call: (203) 701-9666

Visit my office at
Mercury Medical Wellness Center
35 Old Tavern Rd, Suite 101
Orange, CT 06417

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